Missing Link
by Sam1
Summary: Complete! A story based on Lucy's death and how her family reacts. Alternate Universe.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the TBs or the Tracys with the exception of Samantha.

A/N: This story has been nagging me for a few days now and won't leave me alone. It won't be as long as some of my others but will be at least 3-4 chapters long.

Family Tragedy

"Jeff, John, Samantha, and I are going for another run down the intermediate slope." Lucy walked up to her husband and smiled when he pulled her close.

"Tonight the kids go to bed early and we have some time to ourselves," he said, huskily. Fifteen years of marriage and six children later, he could still make her knees go weak.

"Last time you said that the end result is at this moment annoying Virgil," she replied. A sudden crash from the family room of their chateau was followed by an angry shout.

"ALAN! Where is my sheet music that I was working on?" Jeff groaned before giving her a quick kiss.

"I'll take care of those two and you take the twins for another run." Kissing her once more, he hurried to the family room. "Virgil and Alan, get in here right now." Laughing softly, Lucy went to the room that John shared with Virgil and Scott. Her second born son was sitting at the desk reading one of his astronomy books that he'd gotten for his birthday.

"John, are you ready?" she asked, looking over his shoulder at the book in front of him. He jumped slightly in his chair, startled.

"Mom, you startled me. I didn't hear you come in," he said. "What did you say?"

"Are you ready to go for another run on the slopes?" she repeated. "Get your gear and I'll go get your sister." John carefully marked the page he was reading and closed the book and then went to the utility room where they had stored all their ski gear.

Knocking on her daughter's bedroom door before entering, Lucy wasn't surprised to see her sitting on the window seat with a notebook opened on her lap and a pen stuck between her teeth while gazing out of the window. Twelve-year-old, Samantha Tracy looked up at her mother upon hearing the soft knock on her bedroom door.

"Hi, Mom," she muttered around the pen in her mouth. Lucy walked over to the window seat, smiling down at her only daughter and third born child. She and Jeff had been surprised when Samantha had been born minutes after John. They didn't know that Lucy had been pregnant with twins and the doctor hadn't picked up on it because Samantha had 'hidden' behind John. If they had been shocked, Scott had been even more so when his parents came home from the hospital with not only the baby brother he'd been expecting but also a baby sister.

"Hi, Sweetie, what are you working on now?" she asked. She and Jeff were very interested in what their children did and often asked them questions about their various activities. Samantha took the pen from her mouth and handed her mom the notebook.

"It's nothing much, Mom, just some random thoughts," she answered, shyly. Lucy sat down and quietly read what Samantha had written. Her penmanship was very legible compared to that of some of her brothers' writing. Virgil was the only one who could match Samantha in neatness where their writing was concerned.

_Mist_

_By Samantha Tracy_

_At first glance they are barely discernible from the mist but wish hard enough and they come to you. Bright and beautiful, they comfort you from heartache and sadness. I've caught glimpses of my grandfather and have been comforted by the thought that he is still watching over us. Even in death, he still shows that he loves us by randomly letting us 'see' him but for a few moments. Those few moments are all it takes to steady our resolve and square our shoulders so that we can be the person that he helped mold. _

"Samantha, is everything alright? This is beautiful but a bit sad," she asked a bit hesitant. She knew that Grant's death had been hard on all of them but it seemed that Samantha was still grieving.

"Mom, everything is fine. I just started writing and this is what came out. It's a way for me to remember. I miss Grandpa but I _know _that he is still watching over all of us." She stood up and put her pen down on the dressing table that doubled as her desk. She had taken the smallest bedroom so that her brothers would be less cramped in their bedrooms. As a result, she didn't have the space for extras in her room. A full-size bed, dresser, dressing table, and a nightstand were all that she needed and had space for. Her brothers had bunk beds with the exception of Scott. He had a regular twin size bed in the room he shared with Virgil and John. Handing her daughter the notebook, Lucy stood up and spontaneously gave her a hug.

"You'll come to me if you ever have any problems, won't you?" Staring into her daughter's blue eyes, she saw the innocent child that she still was inside.

"You know that I will, Mom, because us girls have to stick together with all the testosterone in this family." She hugged her mother back and heard the steady beat of her heart. "I love you." In a family of eight, 'I love you' was something that was heard regularly. Most generally it came from Lucy and Samantha because the males in the family had an image to maintain. Yet, every once in awhile, they would slip and then they would try to cover it.

"MOM! I thought we were going skiing," cried John from the hallway. He looked inside his sister's room and saw his mom and sister hugging. "Hey, what's going on?" He was protective of his twin and couldn't stand to see her upset or hurting. She was the same way about him. The bond that they shared was stronger than anyone even themselves knew. Samantha looked up at him and smiled.

"Calm down, Johnny. Mom and I were just having a mother-daughter moment to fortify ourselves with all of the testosterone in this family." Shaking his blonde head, he walked out of the room and tripped over Alan who had been trying to sneak back to his room to hide from Virgil. The two boys fell on the floor in a tangle of limbs. Alan landed on his back and cried out.

"OWIE, MOMMY, JOHNNY HURT ME!" From the direction of the family room, they could hear someone running up the stairs. Smirking down at his baby brother, Virgil helped John to his feet and then grabbed Alan by his shirt.

"Where is the music I was working on?" he snarled. He was unaware that their mother was in Samantha's room.

"Virgil, let go of your brother," a stern voice sounded from his sister's bedroom. Instantly he released his hold and turned around to face his mother.

"Mom, he took my music again," he said in his defense. Alan had gotten to his feet by this time and was shaking his head.

"I didn't take it, Mommy," he argued. Looking at her children, she did a quick count and knew who the culprit was that had swiped the music.

"Virgil, have you seen Gordon lately?" she asked. "Let me redirect that question. Alan, where is Gordon hiding your brother's music?" Alan's eyes widened and he glanced around the hallway for an escape route. Unfortunately for him, his older siblings noticed it and positioned themselves so that he had no where to run.

"He's in the closet under the stairs," announced Scott as he reached the landing. Jeff had heard him and opened the door under the stairs and found Gordon sitting on the floor with the missing music lying next to him.

"Hi, Dad, are you hiding, too?" he asked cheekily. Motioning for his son to follow him, they went upstairs. Gordon had Virgil's music still in his hand and innocently passed it to his next oldest brother. "Here Virgil, I found this for you." Virgil took the paper and handed it to Scott. Anticipating his son's reaction, Jeff grabbed the back of Virgil's shirt just as he moved to tackle his brother. He continued to struggle against his dad.

"LET ME GO!" he cried out. "The brat needs to learn to keep his hands off my stuff."

"Virgil, is your music ripped or destroyed in any way?" Lucy stepped in between her sons causing him to look up at her.

"No…but…" he stammered.

"Do you think that physically hurting your brother is going to make things right?" she asked. His struggles ceased and he looked down at the floor.

"No, Ma'am," he replied, softly. Scott led John, Sam, and Alan downstairs so that their parents could handle the problem with the two involved.

"Samantha, get your ski stuff on," John said as they went downstairs. "Mom's taking us for another run down the slopes." Alan perked up and ran after Samantha.

"Can I go, Sammie?" he begged. "I wanna go, too." Samantha pulled on her ski pants and jacket before sitting down on the bench to pull on her boots.

"Sorry, Squirt, but we're going on the intermediate slopes," she answered. "You're not quite ready for those yet but if you keep practicing on the beginner slopes you'll be ready next year for sure."

"But _Saammmiiee," _he whined when John's hand suddenly covered his mouth.

"The answer is no," he answered for his sister. "YUCK!" Jerking his hand away from Alan's mouth, he wiped it on his pant leg. Alan stuck out his tongue and ran back to the family room. "He licked me. Gross." Sam smiled at him and shook her head. Lucy joined them in the utility room and donned her ski gear. Soon they were heading to the slope that they had agreed on.

"One run and then we need to get back. Your dad and I are going out tonight," she told them. Samantha and John glanced at each other and then back at their mother who had blushed a bit. Taking the lift up to the start of the slope, Sam pushed off first followed by Lucy. John took up the rear but caught up with them. They were halfway down the mountain when a loud rumbling sounded behind them. John looked up over his shoulder and saw the mountain come crashing towards them.

"AVALANCHE!" He yelled. Trying to pick up speed the three Tracys had just made it near the bottom of the mountain when the avalanche reached them. A huge tree started to topple towards Sam and Lucy. Lucy saw it coming and shoved her daughter out of the way as the tree fell and the snow covered them.

"Here's another one," shouted one of the rescuer's. John's pale face had a tinge of blue from being limited on his oxygen. The fresh air rushed into his lungs and he gasped. His gaze searched for a familiar face and an explanation of what had happened.

"S-S-Sa-Saman-Samantha? Mom?" he chattered. The rescue worker looked down at him.

"Were they with you?" he asked.

"Y-Y-Yes." He struggled to get up but was gently pushed back down onto the stretcher.

"Lie still," he ordered. "This one was with two others. They should be around here as well." John could hear the renewed efforts in locating his Mom and sister. Two shouts sounded and again he struggled to a sitting position.

"We found them. Two females both were near a fallen tree. Damn, this one didn't make it." John's heart plummeted and he tried to crawl over to his family. His leg was broken and it dragged behind him. Two medics grabbed him and shifted him back onto the stretcher and fastened the straps to restrain him.

"PLEASE LET ME GO!" He cried. "SAMMIE! MOM!" Afraid that he would further injure himself, the medic readied a dose of sedative. John saw the needle and pulled away from it. "I'm sensitive to meds. I can't tolerate full doses and neither can my sister." Seeing no way out of his situation, he stopped struggling as the medic readjusted the dosage and administered the injection. Within a few minutes, John was asleep and carried down to where worried family and friends were gathered as well as ambulances to take the victims to the hospital. Samantha was carried down once she had been pulled from the snow. Lucy's body was completely covered by a green blanket.


	2. Waiting for News

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the TBs or the Tracys with the exception of Samantha.

A/N: I know next to nothing about skiing so if I have something wrong, I apologize in advance. This story is an alternate universe story that stems from my story "A Special Connection". Fayesy and Ravenlua, thanks for the kind reviews.

Waiting for News

"Dad, what's that noise?" asked Gordon from where he was lying on the floor, coloring with Alan. Looking up from the book he was reading, Jeff listened before jumping to his feet. Running to a window that faced the mountains, he closed his eyes not wanting to believe what he was seeing.

"Oh God, please let them be alright," he whispered.

"What is it, Dad?" asked Alan. He and Gordon had followed their father to the window. A loud stomping on the stairs was followed by a shout.

"AVALANCHE!" cried Virgil as he and Scott ran down to the family room. "Where did Mom and the twins go?" Jeff faced his sons with a shocked expression on his face.

"Boys, get your coats and boots on. We're going to the designated site for the hospital as a precaution," he ordered. "If your mom, brother and sister were caught by the avalanche, that's where they will be taken." He had grabbed his coat and roughly jerked the zipper up. Leading his sons to the designated area, he quickly identified himself and described Lucy, John, and Samantha to the volunteer as well as what slope they had been on. She took the information and directed them to a waiting area until the victims could be located and brought to the makeshift hospital. Silently, the five of them went to wait for any news but Scott, Jeff, and Virgil were mentally trying to prepare themselves for the worst.

Stretchers carried by rescue volunteers began to arrive at the makeshift hospital. A small area behind it was a temporary morgue for the unfortunate individuals who had not survived. The Tracy family watched as each person was carried in hoping to see John, Samantha, and Lucy. After what they would later claim was like an eternity but in reality was only about forty minutes, Scott thought he recognized the blonde hair of his next youngest siblings. He only caught a glimpse so he wasn't sure if it was John or Samantha.

Speaking softly, he got his dad's attention. "I think I just saw one of the twins." Jeff looked up in the direction that Scott pointed out and barely got a glimpse of the familiar blonde hair. On his feet before he knew it, he had made his way to the volunteer again.

"Excuse me but I think one of my children was just brought in," he said just as Virgil shouted.

"SAMANTHA!" Jeff abruptly turned around and saw that Samantha was being carried in. He ran over to the stretcher and looked down at her blue-tinged lips and pale complexion. Her eyes were closed but her facial expression was that of someone in pain.

"Samantha? Honey, can you hear me?" he managed to say before she was taken to where John had been carried to.

"Daddy?" Her soft voice was barely heard amidst all the confusion but he heard it and hurried after her. Scott, Virgil, Gordon, and Alan followed behind him despite the medical personnel telling them to go back to the waiting area. Glaring angrily at several of them, Jeff refused to back down and leave his injured son and daughter.

"My son and daughter are injured and I will not leave them alone. You don't know their medical history and I won't have them put at risk for further complications or injury by not being present when you are assessing them. My other sons are to remain with me so that I may keep an eye out for them as well." Seeing that they weren't going to get him to change his mind, they simply set about triaging the patients.

"Daddy?" Shifting his attention to his daughter, Jeff leaned down to hear her.

"I'm right here, Samantha," he reassured her. Squinting up at him, she gave a ghost of a smile before grimacing again. When she started shivering again, she managed one word..

"Cold," she whispered, falling asleep again. The doctor took the opportunity to check her over while she was asleep. He had already noted John's chart and had ordered the nurse to cover him with more blankets to help him warm up.

None of them noticed the stretcher covered with the green blanket being carried to the morgue area.

"Sir, what are the names of your children?" asked the doctor who had checked over both John and Samantha. Jeff looked up from where he was watching over them. Scott, Virgil, Gordon, and Alan were sitting quietly against the wall.

"Their names are John and Samantha Tracy," he answered. "Do…do you know if they were brought in with another woman with darker hair? More like his?" He pointed to Virgil so that the doctor would know what color hair he was describing.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Tracy, but I've been checking over your son and daughter. I'm afraid that we need to get them to the hospital. Both of them have multiple injuries and broken bones as well as hypothermia. Their body temperature is coming up but they need better treatment than basic triage. Ambulances are already here and waiting to take them to the hospital. Is there anything medically that I should note in their charts?" Anxious and worried, Jeff shook his head. He knew each of his children's medical history but wasn't thinking straight. Scott stood up and moved next to his dad.

"Doctor, they are both sensitive to medications especially anesthesia. Our mom was told by our pediatrician that a half-dose of most medications would be enough for either John or Samantha. Any more than that would make them sick and take a lot longer to work out of their system," he told him. Jeff glanced over at his son in gratitude.

"Thanks, Scott; I know their histories but had a mental block. Doctor, which hospital are they going to be transported to?" Jeff mentally shook himself and forced his attention on what needed to be done for his son and daughter.

"Mr. Tracy, please come to the volunteer desk." A polite voice announced over an intercom system. Jeff looked startled to hear his name but finished listening to the doctor. His sons surrounded him before they all went out to the volunteer desk.

"I'm Jeff Tracy," he identified himself to the volunteer. A rescue worker stood next to her with another man.

"Mr. Tracy, will you follow us, please?" They were led to a smaller room set up next to the temporary morgue. A few chairs were set up they were urged to sit down. Jeff held Gordon on his lap and Scott held Alan. Virgil sat between Scott and their dad.

"Mr. Tracy, I'm Doctor Smith and this is Miguel. He's one of the rescuers that helped locate and dig out a young girl and another woman. The woman had identification on her person that said Lucille Tracy. Her emergency contact had Jeff Tracy listed. Are you that Jeff Tracy?"

"Yes, I am. What has happened to my wife?" he demanded. The tiny seed of worry that something bad had happened to Lucy suddenly flared into something akin to panic.

"Mr. Tracy, would you like for me to take your boys out to the waiting area?" asked Miguel. Scott held Alan closer to him and with his left arm pulled Virgil closer. Gordon pressed against their dad and shook his head.

"No, this affects them as well," Jeff answered. "Continue, Doctor."

"I'm sorry but if the identification is correct then she didn't survive," he answered hurriedly. "I need you to come and identify her body." The five Tracys sat there in stunned silence that was shattered by a sudden cry.

"YOU'RE A LIAR! MY MOMMY IS TO ALIVE!" Alan cried out. "Scotty, Mommy wouldn't leave us, would she?" Silently, Scott held his baby brother even closer. His actions caused Alan to completely break down, sobbing for their loss. Virgil hid his face against Scott's arm to hide his tears. Squirming around on Jeff's lap, Gordon cried against his neck. Jeff was lost in memories of his life with Lucy and failed to notice the tears that ran down his cheeks.

"Doctor, can you please take us to her?" Scott asked, gruffly. Shifting Alan in his arms, he stood up with one arm still holding Virgil protectively. Jeff mimicked his actions and carried Gordon to where the doctor led them. At the far end of the morgue, the doctor stood next to a stretcher covered with a green blanket. The five Tracys lined up on one side of the stretcher, silent. Steeling himself for his biggest fear, Jeff nodded at the doctor who gently folded the blanket down. Jeff gazed down at his wife and best friend's peaceful expression and felt his knees start to buckle.

"NNOOOO!"


	3. Like Father, Like Son

**Disclaimer:** Need I even say it again? I don't own any of them except Samantha.

A/N: Parts of this chapter will be set in the 1st person to better clarify the character's thoughts.

Like Father, Like Son

"NNOOOO!" The rough sob erupted from the very depths of his heartbreak. Startled, everyone in the make-shift hospital looked around in confusion. Alan and Gordon both looked at their father and began to cry as the tendrils of understanding took a firmer grip on their young minds. Scott shifted Alan to Virgil and grabbed Gordon from their father just before he dropped to his knees. Covering his face with his hands, Jeff continued to cry out his loss. The doctor looked uncomfortable and tired. He had hated telling someone that a loved one had died or had a terminal illness.

_Jeff's POV:_

When I saw Lucy lying on that stretcher in the make-shift morgue, it was like someone had punched me in the stomach. I couldn't contain my emotions any longer and suddenly dropped to my knees, crying. Overwhelmed with the enormity of what the death of my wife meant caused me to briefly wish for God to take me as well. How was I supposed to manage raising our six children by myself when Lucy and I had been a team? They needed their mother as much as I needed my wife. My thoughts strayed to John and Samantha and I realized not only was I now a hundred percent responsible for raising six children alone, two of them were severely injured and currently on their way to the nearest hospital for treatment.

_"Jefferson, you were raised as a farmer and you have endured difficulties in your life. This is another of life's unexpected curves even though it is your biggest fear come true. You have to finish raising my grandchildren just as your mother and I raised you. I'll look after Lucy and both of us will be looking after all of you."_

A strange sense of calm settled over me and squaring my shoulders, I stood up and looked over at my sons. Wiping away the last of my tears, I leaned over and gently kissed Lucy's cold lips.

_"I love you, Lucy, and I'll do my best to raise our children. I'm sure that I heard Dad talking to me and I'm positive that if it was him then you will be well taken care of. Oh God, Baby, why did you have to leave me? Us? I don't know if I can do this on my own," I told her silently. Sighing, I carefully brushed her hair back and even though it seemed as if my heart was being ripped from my chest, I smiled down at her one last time as my tears blurred my vision. Stepping back, my sons looked up at me with sadness etched on their young faces._

"Let's go, boys. John and Samantha will need us when they come around," I managed to say as I took Alan from Virgil. "Doctor, I'll make the necessary arrangements." Lost in my own pain, I didn't understand how bad it would get for another. I'd forgotten that my oldest son was like me in more ways than one. He tended to keep any emotional pain buried and only Lucy and Samantha would be able to get him to open up. I knew that he was especially close to Virgil but Scott felt that he had to appear strong all the time and never let his pain show. With Lucy gone and Samantha injured, Scott wouldn't have anyone he felt 'safe' talking about his pain or our loss. Broken by our loss, the five of us made our way back to the SUV. After making sure that everyone had fastened their seatbelt, I drove to the hospital as yet another realization made itself known- neither John nor Samantha knew that Lucy was gone. At least that was my assumption since both had been unconscious when they were carried into the make-shift hospital. I would find out later that John had been the first to be found and had been awake and aware when Lucy and Samantha had been found.

* * *

_Scott's POV_

Glancing over at my dad, I couldn't help but notice the whiteness of his knuckles as he gripped the steering wheel. Sighing, I turned to look my window as the scenery passed by in a constant blur and that was when I became aware of the wetness on my face. Casually, I reached up and wiped the unbidden tears from my face. I had never cried in front of my brothers or dad. Only Mom and Samantha had ever seen me cry and that was only because I knew that they truly understood me and with them I could let down that macho exterior that the Tracy men had always prided themselves on. The Tracys had always been farmers until my dad bucked tradition and followed his dreams to be a pilot and that took him to be an astronaut. Now he was a business man as well as an American hero. To me he was my role-model and until today I had never seen him break down and cry. I guess I never thought about how close Mom and Dad were or how much he loved her. Sure, he smiled more when he was around her and her eyes always sparkled when she looked at him.

_"This family is going to have a hard time recovering from Mom's death. She always made the time for each of us and still managed to be a great partner to Dad. Both of them have been such positive role-models. Mom, how are we going to manage without you? Just because the twins wanted one more run down the slopes, I won't have special time with you anymore."_

A small whimper from the backseat caught my attention. Turning slightly in my seat, I noticed Virgil biting his lip and Gordon staring, morosely, out of the window. Alan stared at a small car that I recognized as something Mom had given him to play with on the flight to Colorado. Tears pooled in his blue eyes making them appear bluer but it was evident that he was trying to hold back his emotions.

"Alan?" Glancing up, my baby brother continued to struggle with his tears. All at once, he could no longer hold back his sobs and his tears streamed down his face. Virgil and Gordon flinched and then turned to stare at our baby brother. Deftly, I unfastened my seatbelt and clambered over my seat and back to where he was sitting. I vaguely heard Dad demanding that I get back into my seat.

"Why, Scotty? Why did Mommy have to die?" Alan sobbed. "Who's going to fix my lunch and take care of my owies when I get hurt?"

"I don't know why Mom had to die, Ally," I answered softly. "We still have Dad and he can, believe it or not, take care of owies almost as well as Mom did." I heard a small choked laugh from the front seat and knew that Dad had heard me. Gordon and Virgil had remained quiet while I held Alan and tried to calm him down. Samantha had always made this look so easy but for me it was a bit uncomfortable. Not that I don't love my family but this was not my area of expertise. Mom and Samantha had been the nurturing ones in the family and more comfortable with tears and emotions.

"Come on, boys. John and Samantha are going to need us when they wake up," Dad said. Looking up, I was surprised to find that we were already at the hospital. We sat in the waiting room, well, Virgil, Gordon, Alan, and myself sat. Dad paced back and forth while we waited to hear how John and Sam were. He had just started another circuit around the room when a doctor came in and introduced himself. I tried to listen to him but my thoughts kept drifting back to Mom would still be alive if she hadn't taken the twins skiing again. I felt guilty for thinking such thoughts when my brother and sister were hurt and not even aware that our mother hadn't survived.

"Scott? Johnny's asking for us," Virgil told me. I felt him tug on my hand and followed the rest of them to John's room. My feelings of guilt were compounded when I saw him lying on the hospital bed. He looked so small and pale. Thinking that he was asleep, we were as quiet as five males could be and were all surprised to see him look over at us.

"Sam?" Was all he managed to say before he stopped fighting the pain medicines and succumbed to the sleep he needed.


	4. Fine

**Disclaimer:** Same as always, I don't own the TBs or the Tracys with the exception of Samantha.

A/N: Again, parts of this chapter will be in first person to better clarify the character's POV.

Fine

_Fine_: the end. Italian, from Latin _finis, _end.

_Virgil's POV_

"Mr. Tracy, would you like for me to take your boys out to the waiting area?" asked Miguel. With that simple sentence, I knew that my mom hadn't survived.

"No, this affects them as well," Dad answered. "Continue, Doctor."

"I'm sorry but if the identification is correct then she didn't survive," he answered hurriedly. "I need you to come and identify her body." The five of us sat there in stunned silence that was shattered by a sudden cry.

"YOU'RE A LIAR! MY MOMMY IS TO ALIVE!" Alan cried out. "Scotty, Mommy wouldn't leave us, would she?" Silently, Scott held our baby brother even closer. His actions caused Alan to completely break down, sobbing for our loss. I hid my face against Scott's arm to hide my tears. Squirming around on Dad's lap, Gordon cried against his neck. Dad was lost in memories of his life with Mom and failed to notice the tears that ran down his cheeks.

"Doctor, can you please take us to her?" Scott asked, gruffly. Shifting Alan in his arms, he stood up with one arm still holding me protectively. Dad mimicked his actions and carried Gordon to where the doctor led them. At the far end of the morgue, the doctor stood next to a stretcher covered with a green blanket. We lined up on one side of the stretcher, silent. Dad nodded at the doctor who gently folded the blanket down. I watched as our dad gazed down at his wife and our mother's peaceful expression and saw his knees start to buckle.

"NNOOOO!" I jumped when I heard that scream. A scream wracked with emotions that I couldn't even begin to understand. After a few minutes, I was able to look at my mom and hesitantly reached out to the blanket covering her hand. Ever so gently, I uncovered her hand and brushed my hand over hers. Never again would the two of us sit at the piano and play together. She would never have the chance to hear that piece that I'd been working on for the past month. Sure, she'd heard parts of it while I worked on it but she would never hear it in it's entirety.

"_Mom, this can't be happening. You're too young to die and we're too young to be without you. This is all a bad dream and I'm going to wake up and you'll be sitting on the side of my bed brushing your fingers through my hair to help calm me down." _Feeling a slight tug on my coat, I realized that Scott was trying to pull me back. I hadn't noticed Dad's movements near Mom's head. With a soft sigh, he brushed back her hair and smiled down at her even though I could see the tears in his eyes. That scared me more than anything because my dad never cried. At least, I didn't think that he ever cried. Maybe that was something he could only share with Mom and now that she was gone he didn't have anyone. He looked at us and I guess that the look that we gave him was the same he'd shown us. Pain, fear, and an overwhelming sadness were to be our companions for months to come. Maybe longer if it was like how I felt when Grandpa died.

"Let's go, boys. John and Samantha will need us when they come around," Dad managed to say as he took Alan from me. "Doctor, I'll make the necessary arrangements." He led us out to the SUV and drove to the hospital where my next oldest brother and only sister had been taken for treatment. We were shown to a waiting room where Dad paced and Scott had a peculiar expression on his face. It was a look of hurt, anger, and nah, what would he have to feel guilty for? I know my big brother and I swear it looked like he felt guilty for something. My thoughts kept playing between losing Mom and worry for my brother and sister and wondering what was eating at Scott. Something was up and I only hoped that he'd talk to me instead of trying to bottle it up like he normally did. A doctor came in and interrupted the quiet of the room.

"Mr. Tracy?" Dad nodded and he continued. I heard him tell Dad John's diagnosis and then Dad asked about Samantha. Another doctor who had treated my sister came in and told us what her diagnosis was. Both had a broken leg, hypothermia, and multiple cuts and abrasions on their face. Samantha had a broken arm and a concussion as well and John had a couple of cracked ribs. Sam's doctor was a bit hesitant but told Dad that it was possible that she might be partially paralyzed due to something hitting her in the middle of her back. My gaze shifted to Scott and shook my head in denial. There was no way that my big sister could be paralyzed. She was too active and no, I was not going to believe what the doctor had said. My mind couldn't take any more bad news and I suppose that I wasn't the only one feeling that way. Dad looked like he'd aged ten years and Gordon was staring wide-eyed at the doctor. Alan looked up at Dad and hesitantly asked an innocent question.

"Daddy, what's paralyzed mean?" Swallowing hard, Dad answered him in a toneless voice.

"It means that your sister, my baby girl won't be able to walk again," he told him. Alan's eyes widened like Gordon's and he began crying again.

"Sissy won't be able to run with us no more? She won't be able to swim with Gordon or play tag with me?" he asked in soft voice. Dad shook his head and a few tears got past his stoic expression and I knew that he was taking this hard. I couldn't accept that one of my siblings would be in a wheelchair. We were too active of a family. I knew that my sister would walk again. She had five brothers that would see to it that she would find the strength to overcome the diagnosis set before her. Dad's voice interrupted my thoughts and I again listened to what he was saying.

"Dr. Gill and Dr. Hawkins, will it be possible to have both John and Sam in a private room together? I don't care about cost but it will make visiting them easier because I can't be with one and not the other. Their mother was one of the fatalities so I am caring for my six children alone now." Dad looked from one to the other with a defeated look on his face.

"We'll arrange it right now," said Dr. Hawkins. The two doctors then guided us to the room John was in. I hadn't taken but a few steps before I realized that Scott hadn't moved.

"Scott? Johnny's asking for us," I told him. I tugged on his hand and followed the rest of them to John's room. Upon entering the room, I glanced at John's bed. He appeared to be asleep but when he heard us he looked over at where we stood by his bed.

"Sam." Suddenly frightened, I thought that he died just like Mom had. Scott grabbed my arm and pointed down at the rise and fall of John's chest. He had seen the look on my face and instantly reacted to it. I felt ridiculous for my reaction and managed half a smile before sitting down in a chair and watched television. Gordon climbed up on my lap and we began waiting for Samantha to be brought to the room and for John to wake up. I retreated to my memories of Mom and began to wish for my sketchpad. I needed to sketch her face now while I could remember her. I could look at Dad and see Grandpa but Mom's family was dead or overseas and didn't really speak to us. None of us really didn't hear from that part of our family except for a random piece of mail from a cousin or some relative like that. With Mom's death our connection to her side of the family was fine as she would say.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the characters except for Samantha.

A/N: Sorry for the delay in updating but between writer's block and life in general I really haven't worked on anything not class related.

Grandmas Fix Everything

_**Gordon's POV:**_

"Virgil, will Johnny and Sammie be alright? Do they know that Mom's gone?" My voice was uncharacteristically serious from where I was sitting on the same chair as my brother. When he didn't answer me, I looked up at him from where I'd been playing with a loose string on the sleeve of my sweatshirt. Not usually observant about my brothers' emotions, even I couldn't help but notice the look in his eyes. _Mom always said that Virgil had expressive eyes…whatever that means. I'll have to ask her, I mean I'll have to ask Sammie what it means._ Virgil's grip tightened on my hand that he grabbed. He caught me by surprise when his eyes got all teary. _My brothers never let anyone see them cry except maybe Mom and Sammie. She didn't care if anyone saw her cry. Dad said it was cus she's a girl and they were like that. I stay away from girls cus they're yucky. Except for Sammie and she's don't count cus she's my sister._

"I don't know, Gordy. The doctors say that they should be alright but we won't know until they wake up again," he said, quietly. He'd noticed that Dad had glanced up at us from where he was sitting between John and Samantha. Scotty and Al were sitting on the other side of Johnny's bed. It was really quiet in the room except for the beeps of the monitors at the head of my brother and sister's beds. Only Johnny had woken up and he was fit to be tied when Sammie couldn't respond to him. Dad calmed him down while Scott had calmed her down. Even in her sleep, she'd heard Johnny calling for her and had been reaching out for him. I guess being twins has something to do with how close they are. She hadn't woken up at all since we'd first seen her in at the make-shift hospital.

Suddenly, Dad stood up and looked down at her while gently wiping the sleep from her eyes. "Thirsty." Virgil quickly got up and moved around to where Sam could see him holding her water pitcher and held her straw steady while she sipped the water.

"Johnny," she rasped. John finally stopped pretending that he was asleep when he heard her say his name.

"Sam, are you okay? You scared me because you wouldn't answer me," said John in a hurried tone. She glanced around at all of us before staring back at John until her eyes fluttered closed again. After sitting for so long, I had to get up and move around. First, I looked at all the monitors that were in the room. Not all of them were being used to monitor John and Sam's condition.

"Don't touch anything." Dad had been watching me as I had looked at the monitor displays. Alan climbed up on Virgil's lap and stared at our big sister like he was trying willing her to open her eyes.

"Sammie, wake up and talk to us please," he begged. As if she heard him, she moved her left arm just a bit to touch his face with the tips of her fingers.

"Love you, Ally," she whispered. Looking up she saw Dad next to Alan. "Daddy, what happened? How come I hurt so badly? My back really hurts and…" Without a chance to warn him, she turned her head and threw up. Dad pushed the call button for the nurse and slowly eased her back onto her pillow while I ran to the bathroom and got a cold cloth to wipe her face with. It was always something Mom had done when any of us got sick.

"I'm sorry, Daddy, I didn't mean to get sick," whimpered Sam, embarrassed. Just as quick as she spoke, she fell asleep again. When we next heard her, it upset me because she didn't know that Mom was dead.

"Mom? 'S c-c-cold he-here…don' like it…wa-want out," she muttered in her sleep. "Wh-where's Jo-Johnny…D-daddy, find us…'s d-dark and c-cold." Dad tried to wake her up but couldn't at first. Scott just stared at her in shock and then something else crossed his face. "Mom…d-don' l-l-leave us." With a small sigh, she bolted awake and glanced around the room.

"Samantha, it's alright. You and John are safe," Dad said, trying to soothe her.

"Where's Mom?" she asked softly. "How come she isn't in here? Is she in another room?" Alan and I stared at the floor but we heard a choked sob and looked around to see who it was.

"Sh-she didn't make it, Samantha." Dad told her with tears in his eyes. I saw that it was John who was crying from his bed. His hoarse cries diverted Dad's attention from Samantha to him. "John, you have to calm down before you make yourself sick." Samantha watched him quietly from her bed with an agitated expression. Virgil and I noticed the look on her face and hurried to her side. She struggled to sit up while trying to hold the one-size-fits-none hospital gown in place.

"Sammie, it's okay. Dad will take care of Johnny." Virgil tried to calm her down but the protectiveness she had for John was the only thing she paid attention to.

"Johnny needs me, Virg," she snapped. Giving up any sense of modesty, she tossed back her blankets.

"Scotty, make her stop," Alan cried from the foot of her bed. "She's para-para…can't walk." Immediately, the room got quiet and Sammie stopped struggling. Staring hard at her legs, the look on her face was an expression of concentration. She looked up from her legs to each of us before her gaze settled on Dad.

"D-Dad…my l-l-legs. Wh-what's wrong…w-with my…legs?" Her voice was shaky and hollow sounding. When Dad didn't answer her, Scott spoke up for him.

"The doctors think that something hit your back and that…" he paused, swallowing hard. "You may be paralyzed." We couldn't hear what else he said but Samantha did and shrank back against her pillow with her eyes closed. Now in my family, we never back down from anything no matter what but it was clear to me that this was just too much for my big sister to handle. Dad glanced over at her before leaving Johnny to deal with her.

"Samantha, it may not be permanent," he told her. Blinking up at him, she didn't speak but just lay there. "Do you want me to get the doctor in here to explain things to you?" By the time he asked her that, she turned her face away from him and pulled her blankets over her head. "Samantha?" Alan and I looked at each other confused about her behavior. Scott had retreated to the window and I knew that he wouldn't be able to make this better. Virgil had moved to John's bedside and was trying to talk to him but all our brother wanted was to be by his twin's side when they needed each other.

"Sammie, the doctors aren't right. God wouldn't do that to you right after taking Mom from us," John said loudly. "Dad, you tell her that. We haven't done anything to deserve this and…and…" Suddenly, he began crying harder than any of us had ever seen. "WHY? WHY DID HE TAKE HER FROM US? WHY IS HE DOING THIS TO US?" Torn between both twins, Dad was having a hard time of taking care of both of them. Quickly, he turned back to John so that he could try to calm him down.

"John, this isn't doing you or any of us any good. You have to calm down," he ordered. The door opened and a nurse walked in and turned out just as quickly. A few minutes later, a young doctor came in with the same nurse.

"Dad, I heard them say Mom was dead," John muttered. "I was the first one they found and I was awake. Samantha was unconscious when they dug her out of the snow but Mom…Mom was…oh gawd…Dad, she was dead. They said that…the tree…the tree hit her." The doctor looked at both beds and saw that one patient was hidden by blankets and the other one appeared to be in emotional distress.

"Nurse, give him the Seconal," he ordered quietly. "Minimal dose via his IV port." Ever the efficient nurse, she withdrew the correct dosage into the syringe and then injected it into John's IV.

"What did you give my brother?" Scott demanded from the window.

"Just something to calm him down a little so that he doesn't hurt himself," the nurse explained. John twisted around to see what she was doing before he began struggling.

"No, I don't want it…" he cried while tugging at the IV line in his arm. "I want to check on my sister."

"Young man, you have got to calm down," the doctor admonished. "You aren't doing yourself or your family any good by acting like this. Mr. Tracy, may I speak with you in the hall for a moment?" With an irritated sigh, Dad followed him out into the hallway.

"Wonder what he had to say to Dad in private?" Virgil asked. With a knowing glance, he and Scott looked back at me in expectation.

"What?" I demanded. With a nod of his head, Scott motioned towards the door.

"Fine, I'll go have a listen," I grumbled. Stealthily, I crept over to the door and leaned back against the wall so that I'd be able to hear what was being said. Thankfully, the door hadn't shut all the way and I could hear my dad and the doctor as clear as if they were standing right next to me.

_"Mr. Tracy, John is going to have to calm down or we will have to keep him mildly sedated so that he doesn't hurt himself. One wrong movement and he could do more damage to his injured ribs. It's not helping that his near constant agitation is keeping his blood pressure elevated more than what we would like to see." _Oops, sounded like John wouldn't be too happy if the doctor followed through on his threat.

_"Doctor, I understand what you're saying but just how much of my son and daughter's background do you know? Other than the obvious broken bones, are you aware that they were buried in an avalanche? How about the fact that their mother was one of the fatalities? I don't appreciate having my son threatened with sedation because he is worried about his twin sister or that my children and I have lost someone very special to us. I want Dr. Gill and Dr. Hawkins brought in so that we may discuss treatment for my twins." _Hurrying back to Sammie's bedside, I tried to look normal but Dad instantly recognized the look that Scott, Virgil, and I passed to each other.

"Gordon, do you always have to know what's going on?" he asked.

"What do you mean, Dad?" I had to at least try to act as if I knew nothing.

"I mean, why it is so fascinating for you to eavesdrop on adult conversations?" he added. Knowing that I was busted, I blurted out my anger at the doctor.

"Johnny doesn't need to be kept se-sedated, Dad," I argued. Looking over at the brother of discussion, I was shocked to see him curled up on his side facing Sammie asleep. She was still hidden beneath her blankets.

"I know that he doesn't need it and I will try not to let it happen either," he replied. "I'm going to speak with their doctors in a little while. Has Samantha come out from beneath her blankets?"

"No, Sir," Scott immediately answered. Dad walked over to her bedside and pulled the blankets away from her face. With another sigh, Dad saw that she was either asleep or faking it.

"I've got to call your grandmother," he muttered. Moving over to the little couch by the window, he quickly dialed Grandma's number. "Mom, I need you in Colorado. There's been an accident. L-Lucy's…she's gone, Mom. The twins…are in the…hospital…Mom, please stop crying…as soon as you can…be safe."

"Daddy, is Grandma going to take care of us like Mommy did?" Alan asked from next to Dad.

"No one can take care of us like Mom did, Dummy," I shot back. "Grandma's old and Mom was young and…" Turning away from my brothers and Dad, I started crying and couldn't stop. In a few moments, I was pulled against Scott.

"Shh, Gordy, it's alright," he told me. "Sammie would be so mad at us for not letting it out." Holding on to my big brother and drawing comfort from him, I slowly fell asleep leaning against him.

* * *

**_Alan's POV_**. 

"I'm not a dummy, Daddy," I argued weakly. Being the youngest of six children, I was often picked on but now I felt even more lost because Mommy and Sammie weren't sticking up for me.

"No, Alan, you're not a dummy. Gordon is tired and he just lashed out at you," Daddy told me. "Want to sit on my lap? I could use a big Ally hug." Climbing up on my daddy's lap, I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him the biggest hug that I could. Once I'd done my best, I sat down on his lap and stared over at my big brothers and sister.

"Daddy, why did Sammie hide from us? Is she sad like we are?" Like the rest of my brothers, I couldn't quite understand our sister. She was tough like Scott but she was moody. She even cried over silly things like a baby bird that fell out of its nest on the farm. Gordy and I thought it was sad that it'd died but we didn't cry over it and we didn't understand why she did.

"Yes, Alan, she and John are sad just like the rest of us. They will miss your mom just as much as you do," Daddy answered.

"Will Sammie walk again? She won't be para-para…not able to walk again, will she?" Facing my daddy, I stared into his face to see his reaction. "Sissy has to walk cus she has to play chase with me and Gordy and run with Scotty. And her and Johnny have to walk out in the field to look at the stars. And she has to be able to ride her horse with Virgil. So, she has to walk again and the doctors will have to make sure she does. They have to fix her owies."

"I hope that they're wrong, Alan. I really hope that they're wrong but we have to be there for Samantha if they're not," he replied.

"Daddy, you won't find no one to be a new mommy for us, will you? I don't want another mommy. I want my mommy back," I cried. "I want Mommy to give me a hug and kiss goodnight and to make Johnny feel better. She'd help make Sissy walk again." Snuggling within my daddy's safe embrace, I cried myself to sleep. I didn't want to think about not having my mommy around any more. I wanted to have good dreams with her in them. I wanted to see her pretty face and smile.

* * *

"Oh, Jeff, I'm so sorry about Lucy." A familiar voice woke me up from where Daddy had laid me. 

"GRANDMA!" Jumping off the couch, I ran to my grandma and hugged her. Gordon was right behind me followed by Scott and Virgil. John looked over at her from his bed. His eyes weren't all the way open and he kept falling asleep. Sissy was still sleeping but someone had pulled the blankets from her face and her broken arm was lying on top of the blanket.

"Boys, have you eaten anything?" Grandma always worried about us not getting enough to eat.

"Yes, Grandma," we answered her. After giving each of us a hug, she walked over to John's bed with Daddy next to her.

"John, wake up," she told him, shaking his shoulder carefully.

"Mom, he probably won't be able to focus on you. His doctors have decided to keep him mildly sedated for a couple of days," Daddy told her. Johnny opened his eyes and looked up at Grandma.

"G-gr-grandma." His voice was just barely above a whisper. "Sammie?" He turned his head more to look over at our sister and sighed when he saw that she was still sleeping.

"John, my little star-gazer, I'm going to make sure that you get better. As well as that other star-gazer of mine," Grandma promised. She reached out and rubbed her old hand along his face.

"Love you, Grandma," he muttered before drifting back to sleep. Turning to face my daddy, Grandma stood up real straight and glared up at him.

"No more of those sedatives, Jefferson," she snapped. "He doesn't need them and I won't have my grandson like this. You get those doctors in here right now and take that thing out of his arm or mark my words, young man, I'll do it myself." Scott and Virgil smiled at each other while me and Gordy giggled at our little old grandma being so ornery like she said we were. "I need to see to my granddaughter. Goodness knows what those foolhardy doctors have said about her."

"They said Sissy was para-para…" I started to say before Gordy jumped in.

"Paralyzed, Grandma. They said she might not be able to walk again," he said, hurriedly. She looked over at the two of us and shook her head.

"Samantha's a Tracy and we're made of tough stuff," she told us. "Doctors don't know everything and they don't know my granddaughter."

"Mom, don't get their hopes up until we know for sure," Daddy tried to warn her.

"Humph, my granddaughter is going to be fine once those casts come off," she argued back. Grandma didn't listen to anyone who was negative and you'd think that Daddy would know that by now. He must have decided it was better to just give up cus he didn't say anything else. I knew that my grandma could make things better cus that's what grandmas do…they fix things like owies. They make bad dreams go away and they love you no matter what.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the TBs or the Tracys with the exception of Samantha.

Chapter 6

_Samantha's POV:_

"Samantha honey, you open them eyes and look up at your grandma." When Grandma ordered us to do something, we knew to do it and even though I didn't want to I obeyed. Slowly, I opened my eyes but remained silent for fear that I'd start crying. Bits and pieces of skiing with Mom and John were followed by images of the huge amount of snow and debris and unnervingly loud crash of the avalanche that overtook us and then the suffocating darkness that surrounded me with startling silence.

_"I will not cry." _Even though I tried to make myself think of anything else and to not cry, I lost the fight and the tears leaked from the corners of my eyes though I didn't make a sound.

"Jefferson, take my grandsons down to the cafeteria for some dinner. They look like they could use some food and make sure that they eat something other than junk. Don't know what the world is coming to with all the junk food being offered to growing boys and girls. How are they gonna grow properly without the right diet?" Grandma said.

"Come on, boys, let's go down to the cafeteria," Dad told my brothers.

"Johnny, do you want me to get you anything to read? Sammie?" Virgil asked as they headed out the door. I just continued to stare at the ceiling and didn't answer him.

"No, thank you," John answered, quietly. The room grew silent after Dad and four of my brothers left but I still couldn't manage to stop the tears. A warm hand brushed my cheek and I realized that Grandma was looking down at me.

"Oh, Samantha, my poor granddaughter," she muttered. That was all it took for me to totally break down. I was reduced to sobbing harshly for the loss of my mother and the paralysis in my lower body. I still didn't know if it was permanent or not.

"Sammie, don't cry," John called from his bed. He started to sit up only to have Grandma order him to lie down.

"John Glenn Tracy, you are not to get up from that bed," she ordered. "Those doctors have been keeping you sedated and I don't need you to hurt yourself any more than you are." Still affected by the sedative in his system, he wearily lay back down but kept his gaze on his twin.

"But, Grandma, Sammie needs me," he argued, weakly over my sobs.

"Shh, John, I'll take care of her for now and when you're more alert then you can help her," Grandma told him. Turning her attention back to me, she brushed away the tears on my cheeks and started humming a tune that she'd always hummed to calm both John and me. Eventually, my sobbing stopped and I spoke for the first time since I'd asked why I couldn't feel my legs.

"Grandma, may I have a sip of water?" I asked, softly. Once I had taken a drink of water, I directed my gaze back to her face. "Why? I need her to talk to me about girl stuff. She is…was too young to die." Unable to hold back again, my tears pooled in my eyes before making their way down the sides of my face and into my hair. "Who's going to take care of us like she did?"

"Samantha, your daddy and I are here for you and your brothers. I know it's going to be hard but we'll all have to adjust," she said. "I'm no spring chicken but you can always talk to me about anything that concerns you." Feeling a bit more reassured that I'd have someone to talk to about my concerns; I gave her a weak smile.

"Thanks, Grandma," I told her, relieved. Glancing over at John, I was surprised to see that he'd fallen asleep again. "Why is Johnny sleeping so much?" Grandma looked over at him and shook her head.

"Those fool doctors thought that he needed to be sedated. All the money that they charge and instead of helping him they make him sleep." She let go of my hand and walked over to my brother and straightened his blanket and rubbed his cheek. I fell asleep watching her take care of him and didn't wake up even after my dad and brothers came back from dinner. My own tray sat on the bedside table, untouched.

* * *

"Jefferson, look!" Grandma had been sitting in between Sam and John when she noticed movement. Jerking awake, Jeff's gaze followed the direction she was pointing. 

"Mom, that means…" Before he could finish speaking, Grandma pushed the call light so that nurse would come into the room. Moments later, the door opened and the night nurse caring for the twins came in.

"Yes?" she asked pleasantly. Jeff and Grandma stood on either side of the bed staring down at the blonde-haired twin.

"Does this mean what we think it does?" Jeff asked, hesitantly. The nurse watched her patient for a few minutes and smiled at the two adults.

"I'm not positive but I'd guess so. I'll get the doctor in here to give you his opinion," she told them. Quietly so as to not wake the remainder of the Tracys, she left the room to page the doctor. During the time she was gone, Jeff and Grandma watched the random movements that shifted the white blanket on the bed. Just before the doctor came into the room, I jerked awake with a loud whimper of pain and noticed that they were on either side of my bed.

"Daddy, it hurts," I moaned. "Make it stop, please." He saw me reaching for his hand and quickly let me grip it tightly within my own. My slight cries of pain woke my brothers with the exception of John. He was still sleeping off the last of the sedative that he'd been given. The sharp tingling sensation intensified in my legs until I was biting down on my lip in an attempt to stifle any noise that could wake John.

"Dad, why is Sammie crying?" Alan asked, worriedly.

"She's hurting right now, Alan. We have to wait for the doctor to come in and find out exactly what is going on," Dad answered. It was at that moment, my legs shifted beneath my blankets again.

"Her legs moved. Did you see them? That means she can't be paralyzed, right?" he asked, his voice excited. The doctor walked in and the Tracy brothers backed away so that he could check me.

"Miss Tracy, your nurse tells me that you've had some movement and feeling in your legs," he said while folding my blankets down so that he could see my legs. Carefully, he felt along my right calf and smiled when I gasped.

"I felt that," I told him. "I felt your hand on my leg!" Looking up at my dad, I burst out crying. "Does this mean that I'm not paralyzed?"

"Hold on a moment, Samantha," the doctor said. "We don't know the extent of your recovery." Staring hard at my doctor, I bristled at what he said.

"I **_know_** the extent and with my family supporting me, I **_will_** make a full recovery," I argued. A snort of laughter from where my brothers were standing drew all of our attention.

"Yep, Sammie's getting back to her normal self," Virgil choked out before continuing in a direct manner. "Doctor, I don't want to sound rude but you don't know how determined Sammie is and there is nothing any of us can't do with the support of our family. If she's feeling her legs, she will walk again without any problems. She has seven of us that will help her all the way."

"Yeah, we'll help Sissy," added Alan. Scott came up next to my bed and held my hand.

"Sis, we'll all be there for you and help you and Johnny," he said, gruffly. A weird look flitted across his face and I wondered what it meant.

"Humph, may I continue with the examination?" the doctor asked. With a small groan, I nodded my head in agreement.

"Sorry, Doctor," I said, sheepishly. "I guess I'm just glad that I'm not paralyzed. I'd miss not being able to run with my brothers on our farm."

"I take it that you're all very active?" he asked.

"That's an understatement," Dad answered before I could. "This lot never stops. They're all a bundle of energy that feeds off of each other. Boys, back up so that the doctor can do what he needs to." My brothers backed away and went back to the cots that had been provided for them. Grandma made a move to back up as well until I stopped her.

"Grandma, would you stay here with me?" I asked. "I need you." My voice cracked and I felt my face redden in embarrassment.

"Of course, I will, Sweetie." She held my hand while the doctor had me move my legs and feet as much as I could with a cast on my left leg. Once I'd done all the tests that he'd told me to do, he grinned down at me again.

"Seems like you're on your way to a total recovery but that doesn't mean for you to overdo it," he admonished gently.

"Can you define overdo it?" I asked him cheekily which earned me a flick on the ear from Grandma. "Ouch!"

"There's more where that came from, young lady," she told me sternly but with a twinkle in her eyes. "No need to be cheeky to the doctor."

"Yes, Grandma." Turning my head, I winked at my brothers and got flicked again. "What was that for?" I rubbed my reddening ear while my brothers laughed at me. Grandma didn't answer but stared down at me until I mumbled an apology.

"I'll take my leave now. Mr. Tracy, may I speak with you in the hallway?" the doctor asked. Dad turned and looked at Gordon.

"Don't even think of it, Gordon Cooper Tracy," he said sharply. Following the doctor, he glanced back at us again to warn Gordy that he was serious.

"What did you do, Gords?" I asked. When he didn't answer right away, I knew what had happened. My little brother was pretty obvious to me. "You got busted for eavesdropping, didn't you?"

"Yeah," he mumbled. I couldn't help but laugh at him. My laugh turned into a slight groan which got Grandma's attention.

"What's wrong, Samantha?" Blushing, I motioned for her to lean down next to me. I didn't want my brothers to hear what I had to say.

"I think that I just started," I whispered. For a moment my grandmother looked perplexed until it dawned on her what I meant.

"I'll get your nurse and close off the curtains around your bed," she told me softly. She knew that I would be mortified if it was discussed out loud when my brothers were in the same room.

* * *

"Mr. Tracy, I am pretty sure that Samantha will make a full recovery but she has to take it slow. Just from what I've picked up during her stay, she's very active and that will make it hard for her to understand that she'll tire easily and won't be able to be like she's used to with her brothers. Obviously, you know that she can't roughhouse with them and she will be doing a lot of watching." 

"I'll make sure that she takes it easy and between her brothers, grandmother, and me, we'll keep her mind occupied so that she doesn't dwell on being limited. I hate to say this but at least John will be right there with her and I'm guessing that he'll have the same restrictions?" The door to the room opened and Grandma came out. Not saying a word to either of the men, she went to the nurse's station and spoke with Samantha and John's nurse. Alarmed, Jeff hurried over to her with the doctor right behind him. "Mom, what's wrong?"

"Nothing that Samantha and I can't handle," she answered.

"What's that mean?" he demanded.

"She's suffering female issues. So stop worrying, she and I have it all under control." She and the nurse went back into the room. Moments later, Scott, Virgil, Gordon, and Alan were sent out into the hallway to wait with their dad.

"Um, Dad, why were we kicked out of the room?" The four brothers looked confusedly at Jeff and the doctor.

"Not sure, boys, I just know that your grandmother wants you out here for a few minutes," he replied.

* * *

When I heard the door open again, I glanced at who was coming in this time. I hoped that it would be my grandmother with the nurse since I was growing more certain that I needed to clean up. The nurse set about getting a small basin and filling it with warm water. 

"Um, what's that for?" I asked, hesitantly.

"It's so that I can get you cleaned," she answered. Glancing up at my grandmother, I shook my head.

"No, thanks, I would rather get up and take a shower and clean up that way," I argued back stubbornly. With an exasperated sigh, the nurse sat the basin down on the bedside table.

"Samantha, that is impossible for you to do right now. Please let me do my job before it gets more uncomfortable for you." She pulled on a pair of exam gloves after she'd laid out some net-like underwear and a feminine pad along with a clean gown and bed sheets.

"NO! I'm not comfortable with someone seeing me naked," I muttered, pulling my blankets securely around me. Brusquely, she tried to tug the blankets down so that she could do what she had to. "NO! I DON'T WANT YOU TOUCHING ME!" My voice warbled due to the agitation I was feeling. "Grandma, please, don't let her do this. I can do it myself." Dad had heard my scream and had hurried into the room followed by the doctor and my brothers. John had been startled out of his drug-induced sleep.

"Wha's wrong, Sam?" he asked, sleepily. He couldn't see what was going on with the curtains around my bed closed. Dad pushed aside the curtains and rushed to my bedside.

"Samantha, what's wrong?" he demanded, looking from me to the nurse and then to Grandma.

"Daddy, make her leave," I cried. "I can take care of myself." When I noticed my brothers, my face burned a bright red and I pointed to the door. "GET OUT!" My anger quickly masked my embarrassment and they hurriedly left the room.

"Samantha, that is not lady-like behavior," Grandma admonished. "You will apologize to the nurse and to your brothers and you'll do it right now." The ingrained habit to obey my parents and grandparents was too strong for me to ignore no matter how humiliated I was feeling.

"I'm sorry," I said, softly but loud enough for them to hear me. With tears pooling in my eyes, I looked up at her again. "Please, let me take care of this by myself. I don't want…" Her gaze softened and she motioned for everyone to leave. As if she knew that I'd need some help, she stayed behind but turned away from me to give me privacy.

"Samantha, you are far too independent for your own good," Grandma told me while waiting on me to clean myself. A small snort of laughter sounded from John's bed followed by his voice.

"Don't know where she got that from," he laughed. Grandma tensed up and I had to stifle my own laughter.

"I don't think anyone asked for your opinion, young man," she told him. "Sweetie, are you doing alright?" I had managed to clean myself but with my arm in a cast as well as my leg, I couldn't quite get the underclothes on.

"I need some help," I admitted, my face still bright red. She turned around and quickly helped me get situated. "Maybe Dad and Scott can help me stand up so that the nurse can change my bedding." I felt bad about snapping at her but only Mom and Grandma had ever seen me undressed that I could remember. Though, I'm sure that Dad had when I was a baby and toddler still in diapers.

"I'll get them for you now that you're decent," she said. "Let me open the curtains so that you and John can talk." She pulled back the curtains and I saw my twin watching me.

"Hey, are you feeling better?" I asked, concerned when I saw the shadows around his eyes.

"Yeah, as good as expected seeing as how we're both in the hospital with broken bones," he muttered. Dad and Scott came up next to my bed with the nurse and with her guidance; they helped me out of bed and into a wheelchair.

"Can you push me over to Johnny," I asked while the nurse efficiently changed my bedding and managed to keep everything discreet. "Thank you." My gratitude was sincere and heartfelt. When the nurse agreed, Virgil carefully pushed me over to John's bedside. He had scooted over a bit so that he was nearer the edge of the bed. With my right hand, I reached out and brushed his hair out of his face before holding his hand. Neither of us said a word but drew comfort from each other nevertheless. I had shifted in the wheelchair enough that I could lay my head down next to him.

"Sammie, I…"

"Shh, Johhny, we'll be okay," I told him. "I'm still here and I refuse to go anywhere without my bestest brother."

"Thanks, Sis." Smiling slightly, I dozed off next to my twin and best friend.

* * *

_John's POV:_

For two days I watched my only sister who happens to be my twin lay asleep and unable to move her legs. I didn't even want to think of what her reaction would be if she really is paralyzed because I knew how I felt about it. It wasn't fair for this to happen to us especially since we had found out that Mom was dead. She had sacrificed herself in order to save Samantha. I was disturbed from my thoughts when the nurse caring for us brought in a dinner tray for me.

"I'm not hungry," I muttered, lethargically. All I wanted was for my sister to wake up and talk to me more than she had. So far, she'd woken up long enough to talk to us for a few minutes and then got sick and the last time she woke up was when she heard that Mom had died and that she may be paralyzed. I had slept a lot since the last time she woke up as well. I couldn't seem to focus on anything for any length of time. The only constant was that I wanted to talk to Samantha. I felt guilty…I think its called survivor's guilt, which I wanted to talk to her about. If anyone would understand what I was feeling Samantha would because I'm pretty sure that she'd feel the same way.

"John, you have to eat," Dad said from the chair he was sitting in between mine and Sam's beds.

"Not hungry, Dad, just want to watch Sammie," I mumbled, my words sounded slurred to me and I could feel my eyelids flutter close.

* * *

"Oh, Jeff, I'm so sorry about Lucy." Grandma had bustled through the door and Alan, Scott, Virgil, and Gordon hurried to her. She was already hugging Dad against her in mutual grief before turning to each of them and hugging them as well. Once she had done that, she turned her attention to John. 

"John, wake up," she said, shaking my shoulder carefully.

"Mom, he probably won't be able to focus on you. His doctors have decided to keep him sedated for a couple of days," Dad told her. I opened my eyes and looked up at Grandma.

"G-gr-grandma." My voice was just above a whisper. "Sammie?" I turned my head more to look over at my sister and sighed when I saw that she was still sleeping.

"John, my little star-gazer, I'm going to make sure that you get better. As well as that other star-gazer of mine," Grandma promised. She reached out and rubbed her old hand along my face.

"Love you, Grandma," I muttered before dozing off again. Trying my hardest to shake off the sleepiness, I forced my eyes open again.

"Jefferson, take my grandsons down to the cafeteria for some dinner. They look like they could use some food and make sure that they eat something other than junk. Don't know what the world is coming to with all the junk food being offered to growing boys and girls. How are they gonna grow properly without the right diet?" Grandma said.

"Come on, boys, let's go down to the cafeteria," Dad told my brothers.

"Johnny, do you want me to get you anything to read? Sammie?" Virgil asked as they headed out the door.

"No, thank you," I answered, quietly. I shifted my gaze back to Sammie and was surprised to see Grandma trying to comfort her.

"Oh, Samantha, my poor granddaughter," she muttered. That was all it took for her start crying again and I hate to see my sister cry for any reason.

"Sammie, don't cry," I called from my bed. I started to sit up only to have Grandma order me to lie down.

"John Glenn Tracy, you are not to get up from that bed," she ordered. "Those doctors have been keeping you sedated and I don't need you to hurt yourself any more than you are." Still affected by the sedative in my system, I wearily lay back down but kept my gaze on his twin.

"But, Grandma, Sammie needs me," I argued, weakly over Samantha's crying.

"Shh, John, I'll take care of her for now and when you're more alert then you can help her," Grandma told me. When she started humming a tune that she'd always hummed to calm us, I gave into the sedatives again and fell asleep. When I woke next it was to the sound of Samantha yelling at someone.

"Wha's wrong, Sam?" I asked, sleepily. I couldn't see what was going on with the curtains around her bed closed. Then Dad came rushing in to find out what was going on as well. From what I could hear, Sam was giving someone a hard time. Then Grandma was getting on her about her behavior.

"I'm sorry," Samantha said, softly but loud enough for everyone to hear her. "Please, let me take care of this by myself. I don't want…" It was a few minutes later and Dad and our brothers left the room.

"Samantha, you are far too independent for your own good." I heard Grandma telling her from within the curtained-off area. I really tried to hold back the laughter that was trying to burst out of me. I'd never been really good at holding it back and a small snort of laughter burst out.

"Don't know where she got that from," I laughed. I could hear Samantha trying to hold back her own laughter.

"I don't think anyone asked for your opinion, young man," Grandma told me. "Sweetie, are you doing alright?"

"I need some help." I was proud and surprised to hear my sister admit that she needed help. "Maybe Dad and Scott can help me stand up so that the nurse can change my bedding."

"I'll get them for you now that you're decent," Grandma told her. "Let me open the curtains so that you and John can talk." She pulled back the curtains and I saw her looking in my direction.

"Hey, are you feeling better?" she asked, obviously concerned.

"Yeah, as good as expected seeing as how we're both in the hospital with broken bones," I muttered. Dad and Scott came up next to her bed with the nurse and with her guidance; they helped Sammie out of bed and into a wheelchair.

"Can you push me over to Johnny?" she asked while the nurse changed her bedding. "Thank you." When the nurse agreed, Virgil carefully pushed her over to my bedside. Protective of my ribs, I scooted over so that I was close to the edge of my bed. Samantha reached out and brushed my hair out of my face before holding my hand. Neither of us said a word but drew comfort from each other nevertheless. I watched her shift in the wheelchair enough that she could lay her head down next to me.

"Sammie, I…"

"Shh, Johhny, we'll be okay," she said. "I'm still here and I refuse to go anywhere without my bestest brother."

"Thanks, Sis." Smiling slightly, I dozed off with my twin and best friend next to me.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the TBs or the Tracys with the exception of Samantha.

A/N: Finally, what started out as something that wasn't supposed to take any time at all to write is now coming to a close.

A/N: The poem "_A True Mother's Love"_ was written by Patarica D. Nunn and the poem "_When God Opens Heaven's Gates" _was written by Gloria Davis Walker and both should be credited accordingly for such apt poetry for this chapter.

Epilogue

_**There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. Author Unknown**_

The flight back to Kansas was one of the quietest ones that Grandma had ever been on with her grandchildren. John and Samantha were asleep due to the pain medication they had been given to help them with the flight home. Virgil was focused on his sketch book. Alan had fallen asleep after seeking comfort from Scott while Gordon had opted to sit in the cockpit with Jeff. She watched over her only grandchildren protectively. In the days since the avalanche, she had taken on the role of a surrogate mother figure for them. Seeing that they were all taken care of, she dozed off and didn't hear Samantha.

"I'm so sorry…Mom. Scotty's upset…us," she mumbled in her sleep. "Didn't mean…happen." Scott had heard her voice but not the words until he moved next to her. Suddenly, he was overcome with guilt at what he was hearing. He hadn't realized that she'd picked up on his emotions. Shaking a bit, he reached out and touched her face.

"Hey, Sis, you need to wake up," he said quietly so that he wouldn't wake John or their grandmother. It took several attempts before he got through to her. With a small gasp of surprise, she woke up and slowly focused on him.

"Whaddya want, Scotty?" she asked, sleepily.

"You were talking in your sleep again," he told her. "Are you okay?" She took a moment to wipe at her eyes and felt some moisture on her hand.

"Yeah, I'm alright," she muttered. Then her stubborn streak flared and she stared hard at her oldest brother. "You know what, Scott? I'm not alright. My arm and leg hurt unless I've taken pain medicine and then I sleep because the doctor who discharged me and John didn't listen to Dad about us being sensitive to meds. Not to mention the fact that our mother died in order to save me. Oh yeah, one other thing while I'm admitting reasons why I'm not alright. Why does it seem as though you are upset with me and Johnny? Did we do something wrong because when you don't think that I'm paying attention, I see a flash of anger on your face quickly followed by a guilty look? Do you feel that it's our fault that Mom died? Well, get this through your thick skull, nobody can feel guiltier than me! Mom died to save me so how do you think that makes me feel?" Tears flowed down Sam's cheeks and she angrily swiped at them. "I lived…and our mom…is dead…because of me…" Scott was so startled by her admission that he shook his head as if to clear it.

"Sammie, that's not true," he managed to tell her before she shifted in her seat to look away from him.

"Leave me…alone," she cried. "Go back…to thinking…it's my fault." Virgil had looked over at them and realized that Sam had also noticed the strange expressions he had seen on their oldest brother's face. Even though he was closer to Scott, Sam had always there for him as well and he didn't like to see her upset and God help Scott if John were to wake up and see his twin like this.

"Sammie?" Groaning silently to himself, Virgil mentally smacked his hand against his forehead. He should have known that John would hear her cries and wake up. Glancing at her twin, Sam knew that he would be angry if he suspected that Scott was part of the reason she was crying.

"'S alright, Johnny, I just bumped my arm in my sleep and jarred it a bit," she lied. She turned to look back at Scott and saw the surprised look on his face. "I'm fine, Scott, you can go back to your seat." Effectively dismissing her oldest brother, she struggled to find a comfortable position. She sat up and reached for the back of the seat in front of her when she was unable to get comfortable.

"Where are you going?" John asked, curiously.

"Just need to move around a little," she replied. "I think I'll go see how Dad is doing up front with Gordy." Scott had moved back to his seat but when she tried to stand up he was right back by her side.

"Samantha, you're not supposed to be getting up without any help," he said.

_"Scott, you'd better back off," Virgil thought. "She's not going to be pleasant if you keep up and John isn't going to be any nicer."_

"I'm perfectly capable of using my crutch for about ten feet," she retorted. She lowered her voice somewhat so that John wouldn't hear her before continuing. "Don't you think that you've said enough lately with your actions? How about this, you leave me alone and I ignore you so that you can keep blaming me for Mom's death? Virgil, would you hand me my crutches?" Unfortunately for Virgil, Scott had glared at him and shook his head. He swallowed nervously and looked back at their sister who was watching him with narrowed eyes.

"Um, sorry, Sis, but I'm sitting out of this battle of the wills," he mumbled, looking back down at his sketch book. For his part, John looked around at his siblings and wondered what he had missed. He knew that his twin was upset (the tear streaks gave her away), Scott was uncomfortable about something, and Virgil knew what was going on between Scott and Samantha.

"Hey, Virgil, how about you fill me in on what I have missed?" he asked. Virgil's head snapped up and he looked over at his second oldest brother.

"Um, what do you mean, Johnny?" Swallowing hard, Virgil tried to appear nonchalant and relaxed but achieved neither. John leaned forward just a little and grinned causing Virgil to involuntarily shudder at the predatory gleam in his brother's eyes.

"What I mean, is you had better spill what is going on between Scott and Samantha," he replied. "It's obvious to me that my twin is upset and from the guilty look on your face as well as Scott's tells me that he has something to do with it." Sam carefully sat back down in her seat and put her hand on John's arm.

"I'm alright, John," she reassured him.

"Not buying it, Sis," he replied, shaking his head. "You don't cry for no reason and that little lie about jarring your broken arm was so obvious to me." Unbeknownst to them, Grandma was awake but had kept her eyes closed and listened for the inevitable explosion between Sam, John, and Scott.

"John, for me, just let it go," Sam said, quietly. "What he says and thinks doesn't matter." John glared at both Virgil and Scott before speaking again.

"Virgil Grissom Tracy, if you don't tell me what's going on right now, I will come up with all sorts of ways to make your life unpleasant." The dark expression on John's face was proof enough for Virgil to know that it wasn't an empty threat. Scott had kept quiet for as long as he was willing and snapped at his next youngest brother.

"Knock it off, John," he snapped. "Virgil has nothing to do with this."

"Was I talking to you, Scott? I believe that I asked Virg to tell me what is wrong with our sister," John retorted. "Unless you're going to tell me what you did to her then I suggest you butt out of this conversation." It didn't take a genius to realize that wasn't a wise thing for one headstrong Tracy to say to another headstrong Tracy especially with two other equally stubborn Tracy siblings in the same area.

"What did you just say to me?" Scott had his teeth gritted together but it was his stance that showed just how angry he was.

"I…said…butt…out," John said slowly and clearly. "Did you hear and understand me that time?" Before anyone realized what had happened, Scott had grabbed him by the front of his shirt and jerked him. Even with the pain medicine he'd taken before leaving the hospital, the pain from the sudden movement on his cracked ribs was intense and he cried out. As soon as Sam heard her brother's cry of pain, she hit Scott with the cast on her broken arm which hurt him enough that he let go of John.

"KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF HIM!" She screamed. "LEAVE US ALONE AND DON'T EVER—"

"SAMANTHA TRACY!" Instantly Samantha stopped screaming and she, Scott, and John looked up at their grandmother. "Scott, sit down in that seat next to Virgil. John--"

"Dad wants to know what all the yelling is for," Gordon interrupted. His eyes widened when he saw Scott glaring at the twins. "Oops, I'll let him know that you have it under control, Grandma." Before he could do anything to get himself into the mess, he turned around and headed back to the cockpit.

* * *

"What's going on back there, Gordon?" Jeff asked while monitoring the various readouts on his control panel.

"Not sure, Dad, but it looked like Grandma was taking care of it," he answered, truthfully.

"Gordon, do you have any idea of what's wrong?" Jeff asked, wearily. He just wasn't in the mood to deal with any unnecessary drama from his children. It'd been rough these last few days especially with making arrangements to have his beloved Lucy's body taken back to Kansas, the funeral arrangements, contacting her family in England, and taking care of his children. Not to mention the near-constant media attention focused on him and his family.

"Um, looked like Scott and the twins weren't agreeing on something," he said. "John was breathing weird and holding his chest and Samantha was facing him." Jeff hit the autopilot switch and stood up.

"Gordon, stay here for just a minute and watch the control panel," he ordered. "I'll be right back." With a last glance at the panel, he stormed out of the cockpit and into the passenger area. His mother was standing in the center of the aisle and giving three of her grandchildren a lecture that they'd not forget any time soon.

"WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON BACK HERE?" His voice shook with absolute anger and admonishment. Grandma stopped talking and all six of his children sank back in their seats. Gordon had heard the anger and reacted just as if he were back there with them. Alan had been startled out of his sleep and reacted as his older siblings had. When none of them spoke up, Grandma turned around and pulled him aside.

"Jefferson, there are some really hurt feelings here with your children," she told him. With a quick glance back at the silent passenger cabin, she told him what she'd heard while pretending to be asleep. Incredulous at what she was telling him, Jeff kept staring back at his children.

"Scott, is that true? Do you feel that it's your brother and sister's fault that they were caught in the avalanche with your mother and that they're the reason she died?" Alan and John gasped at the question and looked over at Scott. Samantha lowered her head and cried silent tears. Virgil looked out the window and wished that this nightmare would just go away. Scott swallowed hard before he was able to answer his dad.

"Yes, Sir…I mean, no, Sir," he stammered, nervously. "If they hadn't wanted to go for another run down the slope then Mom would still be alive." The plane was silent accept for the sound of the pressurized air that was being circulated within the cabin and cockpit.

"Son, it wasn't their idea. Your mother wanted to have some time with them and it was her idea," Jeff admitted, softly. "It was a freak accident and you can't do this to yourself or to them. We can't argue amongst ourselves when we're all going to need each other to get through this. Your mother would be upset to see you acting like this. We didn't raise any of you to so blatantly accuse each other of something that was never in our control." Scott shifted his gaze to the floor, the words his dad said repeating in his head.

_"It was Mom's idea and all this time I was blaming John and Samantha. But if they would have told her no then she'd still be alive. NO! I'm still blaming them. Oh God, Mom, how could I have done something so stupid? I knew that John was in the bedroom he had been sharing with Virgil and me. Samantha had been in her room writing something in one of her journals. I've been a total jerk but I can admit when I'm wrong and I'm so wrong on this that I don't know if they'll ever forgive me. Dad needs to be told about what Samantha said. She can't go around blaming herself for Mom's death anymore than I blamed them."_

"Um, Johnny, I'm sorry for hurting you," Scott apologized much to his dad and grandmother's surprise. "I…I've been acting like a jerk and I didn't know the whole story." He looked at their only sister and took a deep breath. "Sammie, I have no reason for you to forgive me but I am so sorry that I blamed you and John for Mom's death. Now that Dad has told us what happened, I know that there was nothing that anyone could have done and that it was a freak accident. I will own up to my mistake but I'm also going to lay something out for you. It is not your fault that Mom died--"

"WHAT?!?!" John, Jeff, and Virgil cried out as one. Grandma studied her granddaughter while Alan looked on in open-mouthed shock.

"She told me that it was her fault that Mom died. That Mom shoved her out of the way of the falling tree," Scott admitted.

"Samantha, is that true?" Jeff asked. The only thing she could do was nod her head slightly. She didn't want anyone to see the hurt and guilt on her face. Their dad walked over to her seat and squatted down so that he was at her eye level and gently raised her face. "Samantha, it is not your fault. It was never in your control and your mother sacrificed herself so that your brothers and I didn't lose both of you. If you hadn't been pushed out of the way, that tree would have killed you as well." He could no longer hold back his tears and unashamedly he let them run down his face. "It will be a long time before I'm comfortable that I no longer have my wife at my side but it'd be so much worse if this family would have lost you as well. Your mother lives on in each of you but mostly you because you are so much like her in appearance and actions. She would not want any of you to feel guilty or weighed down with so much sorrow." Carefully, he hugged her and the last of her resolve crumbled…

"I miss…her so…much, Dad," she cried. "It hurts…so much…that I can't…take it any…more." Her brothers couldn't help the tears that fell from their own eyes when they heard the words through her broken sobs.

"Shh, I know, Sam, but I also know something else. None of us have to deal with this on our own. Our family is close because that's how we were brought up and now is no different."

"DAD, GET UP HERE NOW!" Gordon's voice reverberated from the cockpit and Jeff rushed back to the cockpit. "Air Traffic Control is asking for you to report in since we're just 30 minutes out." Once he'd radioed in to ATC, Jeff looked at his son.

"Thanks for watching over everything but did you really have to scare the hell out of everyone?" Jeff asked. Gordon couldn't hold back his trademark grin and cheekiness.

"Dad, I was asked to get you up here and that's what I did," he replied. "ATC didn't want to speak with a kid but the actual adult pilot." Unable to refute his logic, Jeff sighed in resignation.

"I know, Gordon, how you are," he said. "Thanks for holding things down up here."

"No problem, Dad. Um, how are things back there?" he asked, worriedly.

"We'll have to finish the discussion once we get home. Evidently there is a lot more going on than I realized." Jeff turned his attention to preparing for their landing and pushed the intercom button for the passenger cabin. "Everybody needs to fasten their seatbelts and we'll be landing within fifteen minutes." Gordon had already fastened his seatbelt and was watching his dad closely. He was trying to understand just what Scott found so fascinating with flying.

* * *

Grandma quickly checked to make sure her grandchildren were secure before sitting down and fastening her own seatbelt. Scott and Virgil were talking quietly to each other but she couldn't quite hear what they were saying. John and Samantha were sitting behind her so their conversation was a little bit easier to hear.

"Sammie, please tell me that what Scott said isn't true," John begged his sister. Sam only closed her eyes and lowered her head in response. Awkwardly, he pulled her to him in a clumsy hug but one that they both needed. It became more apparent that Sam needed it when she hid her face in the side of his neck and continued to cry.

"I'm sorry for…taking Mom…away from all…of you," she muttered. John pushed her away a little so that he could see her face and she could see his.

"Samantha Michelle Tracy, didn't you hear what Dad said? Even if Mom hadn't shoved you out of the way, she still would have been killed. The only difference is that you would have been killed as well. Dad's right, though, it's going to be hard and we're all going to miss Mom but at least we still have each other. As long as we have that then we'll always have Mom, too." He stared hard yet as a caring brother into eyes that matched his in shade and pain, searching them to make sure that she believed what he was telling her. He'd no reason to lie to her and couldn't even if he'd tried.

"I'm being…pretty…silly, huh?" she asked. Her words broken by slight whimpers as she slowly got hold of her emotions. "Love you, Johnny." Grinning slightly, he pulled her close again and the two of them waited for their dad to give the all clear to unfasten their seatbelts. Grandma sat in the seat in front of them and smiled to herself.

_"At least that grandson of mine can make his twin see reason," she thought to herself. "Still we have a long way to go until we heal from our loss if ever." _

Samantha and Scott still were a bit cool to each other the first day the family was back home. Samantha and John were holed up in his room since her room held too many memories of their mother. She and Samantha had decorated it together the previous summer before school had started. Gordon and Alan were constantly together and that meant they were always near Jeff or Grandma. Virgil and Scott could be found in their room trying to talk things out so that they wouldn't have to hold all of the pain within.

* * *

The minister finished speaking though the Tracy family remained focused on the open casket in front of them.

"Samantha and Virgil Tracy both have asked to speak before their mother is interred into her final resting place," he announced to the mourners. Virgil got up and made his way to where the minister was standing and glanced down at a note card in his hand.

"I read a poem that I wanted to share with you," he said, his voice wavering slightly. "A poem that was written by Patarica D. Nunn.

_A True Mother's Love_

_A mother's love is consistent and patient and it will never fade._

_A mother's love is warm and compassionate, even in the shade._

_A mother's love will always help you through the weakest hours._

_A mother's love is always like a bouquet of flowers._

_A mother's love is strong and will never steer you wrong._

_A true mother's love is beautiful in many ways._

_A true mother's love is sincere and it takes a mother's love to conquer our fears._

_A true mother's love knows the depth of love._

_A true mother's love is contentment just like God's love._

_My mother's love is absolutely all of the above._

My mom may not be here with us in person but she will always be here with us in spirit. Her love for us knew no bounds here on earth and will know no bounds now that she is in Heaven. Mom, I love you and…" Unable to finish, Virgil hurried back to his family and into his father's arms. Scott pushed Samantha's wheelchair up to where the minister stood and helped her stand up. He remained by her side for comfort and support should she need it.

"Thank you, Scott, and thank you for coming to pay your respects to our mother and console us in our time of need. I have chosen a poem that I found in my mother's Bible that I thought was appropriate. It was written by Gloria Davis Walker.

_When God Opens Heaven's Gates_

_When God opens Heaven's gates as we cross that gulf so wide,_

_The arms of Jesus open as our soul will there abide._

_When God opens Heaven's gates we'll see beauty all around,_

_Our loved ones, too, will greet us, as we leave this earth behind._

_When God opens Heaven's gates there'll be singing angels there,_

_The awesome peace and joyfulness will permeate the air._

_As God opens Heaven's gates and His light takes place of day,_

_Jesus welcomes us forever as the ones who found "The Way."_

Mom, I know that you'll be at Heaven's gates with Grandpa to welcome each of us when it is our time. Thank you for being such a positive role model for us and I love you." Using the podium for support, she turned towards her mother before she kissed her fingers that barely showed with the cast on her arm and gently touched her mother's cheek. Scott helped her back to her wheelchair when she whispered that she was done.

"Thank you, Scotty," she told him on the way back to where their family was sitting. Grandma was dabbing at the tears in her eyes while their brothers were openly crying. Once the mourners moved away so that the family could say their private goodbyes, Jeff went to his wife's casket. He leaned over his wife's still form and kissed her softly on her lips and told her that he would always love her and never would he forget her. Scott had come up to his side and placed his hand on his dad's arm. Jeff wrapped his arm around his son and gave him a small hug and walked off so that Scott could have a chance to tell her goodbye.

He stood there much like his father had before him and though the tears poured down his young face. He said his silent goodbyes and he too leaned over and kissed his mother on the lips. Virgil came up next and said his goodbyes. He placed a folded sheet of paper in the casket next to his mother. He quickly kissed her and ran off to where the family had sat.

John slowly made his way to his mother's side. Jeff was just a few steps behind him in case he needed support. He carefully placed his crutches to the side of where he barely maintained his balance.

"Mom, thank you for saving us like you did. I wish that you were still here with us. Sam and I feel so guilty because we survived and you didn't. Why did you have to leave us? We need you. I love you." He began to sway unsteadily as his emotions began to build and his dad, worried that he'd fall, reached out and held him close. John turned and buried his face in his dad's jacket. He cried hard for the loss of his beautiful and loving mother. When he'd calmed down enough, Jeff handed him his crutches and helped him back to the family area. Virgil quickly sat down next to John so that they could grieve together. They both looked back towards their mother's casket just as Scott pushed Sam up to it. With the help of both Scott and her dad, she was able to stand between the two of them and say her own goodbyes. Not caring that she would be overheard she said them aloud.

"Don't worry Mom. I'll look after the Tracy men for you. I can never replace you and I would never want to but I'll be there anytime my brothers need me. When Gordy and Ally cry, I'll comfort them just as you would. I'll make sure that Virgil doesn't stop playing piano or his artwork. You already know that I'm always there for John. I'll keep an eye on Dad and Scott but you know how they are. I miss you so much already Mom. You weren't supposed to leave me. We never will have the chance to talk about my first boyfriend and you won't be here to show me how to apply my makeup. I won't get to have the mother/daughter talks that all of my friends have." Her dad and brother held her close to them while she cried for their loss.

"Daddy, take me over to John, please." She settled back in her wheelchair and he pushed her to where John was sitting. John reached out his hand and held hers while Virgil wiped her tears with his handkerchief. They all turned their attention to Gordon and Alan being brought up to see their mother one last time. Their heart wrenching sobs tore at all of the hearts of those that waited to pay their final respects. Scott and Jeff each held them and tried to comfort them but they struggled out of their grasp and ran to Sam. She let Alan sit on her lap as she held Gordon next to her. Jeff and Scott rejoined the family. Grandma sat next to Jeff and held her son close to her. Scott picked Gordon up and held him on his lap. Finally the service was concluded and the casket was closed and slowly lowered into the ground. The remaining Tracy's made their way back to the limo and home again. They were unaware of that the paparazzi had been taking pictures of them throughout the graveside funeral. At least they were all unaware except for Samantha who saw the pictures the next morning and threw the newspapers away before her dad saw them.

* * *

Samantha and John's injuries healed and with a lot of guidance and talking with their wise grandmother, they got through the death of their mother. Being the star-gazers that they were, each selected a star that they designated as their mother's star. It was a year later before they realized that they'd chosen the same star. Scott stepped up to help his dad with his younger siblings and reassure them when they had nightmares and missed their mother. He dealt with his emotions and loss by talking to Virgil and Samantha. Virgil painted and played piano as a way to remember their mother and occasionally would talk to either Scott or Samantha. Gordon and Alan never hesitated to talk to any of their older siblings, Dad, or Grandmother. On more occasions than any of them cared to count, the Terrible Two could be found in one of their older sibling's bedrooms. In time and with lots of love from their family, they all came to terms with their loss. It still hurt but each day the pain lessened until it was more of a dull ache and void instead of the raw, intense pain it had been.

* * *

A/N:Life goes on and though we never fully get over the loss of a loved one, we do get to a point where we can look back at the past with fond thoughts and thankful that they were in our lives for even just a while. I speak from experience because not a day has gone by in the last seven years that I don't remember my dad. Usually it's when I least expect it and I tell him that I miss him and love him still.-sam1 


End file.
